Flight of the Sparrow

Dear Marilyn:

Hi, gorgeous! Remember my last post? Boy was I intoxicated that night. I went to work the next day, completely hungover. I spent the better half of the day moody, but eventually I got it together.

Today, I wasted my day moping around my place in a sweater and pj's, trying not to be affected by my conversation this morning with the boy from the sea. He casually mentioned he is getting closer to his ex (Marcello) and they might be getting back together. I congratulated him, I knew Boy from the sea had been wanting that, but Marcello wasn't going for it. I tried to fight off the feelings rushing through me, telling myself that Marcello lives down the street from him, I live sort of far. Boy from the sea and Marcello dated for a while, prior to his move. But then I couldn't avoid thinking that Marcello is really cute, in better shape than me, stylish and seemed to have lots of money.

Then I remembered that a few months ago, I almost ended up in bed with both of them (but we all got too drunk and woke up in different places). It helped a tiny bit.

I don't understand how one person could affect another so intensely. I never imagined I would be THAT person... and here we are.

I know this isn't the last of Boy from the sea, yet I can't help but want to disappear for a while. Fall of the face of the Earth. I fantasized about quitting my job, since I hate it anyway, packing it all up and quietly moving with either of my parents or my older sister. Dad lives in another country, which might be exactly what I'm looking for. I want to regroup, work on myself, heal and return a new person. The "new person" I am trying to morph into is in fact, my old self. My charismatic, confident, aloof, former self.

I realize it sounds a bit dramatic but I could really use a Madonnaesque reinvention, and the satisfaction of a grand Cheresque comeback. I've done it before and it's an amazing feeling. Vindication.

I'm a gypsy and I have known it's been time to move on for a while now. We'll see. I'm trying to be rational about this.

TTYL.

F.O.D.

Friend of Dorothy (F.O.D.): A euphemism used for discussing sexual orientation without others knowing its meaning.

Source: Wikipedia

Dear Marilyn:

Ooh, gurrrl! I am havin' a really gay night, honay. I had Italian for dinner and watched Margaret Cho (CHO: Revolution)... hence the extra gay, asian-american accent with a tablespoon of ebonics, heavy on the attitude. Dat gurrl iz so fagalicious... mmkay! A thank it'z the gayest of all her dvd's. Having been inspired after watching Ms. Cho, I cracked open a bottle of Chilean red wine (Carmenere).

As if that wasn't enough gay for one night, I moved on to a movie called "A Four Letter Word"... which is absolutely, hands-down, the gayest movie of all time. One of the characters was named after you, but she paled in comparison. Charlie David of Dante's Cove was in it... honey-chile, that boy is HOT!

Luke, the main character, was really annoying. I would never admit this to another gay, but gurrrl, he was so queeny and ovah da top! And not in a cute, adorable, funny way... he just got on ma-nerves! But din I watched the speshow feetchahs, and the actor was funny and charming, still queeny, but totally likeable, he also cowrote the movie. I "get it" though, the character is intended to be annoying and over the top, it's a statement and the film is making fun of sterotypical gay guys but after a bottle of wine, I'z just gonna tell it like it is, honey. You know what else I saw in da speshow featchahs, doll? Da directah had a big ol' herpes on his mouth, gurl. Just keepin' it real.

Oh my my, I just now glanced over at the mirror and my teeth are completely purple. So is my tongue. Mission accomplished. Lots of teeth whitening products tomorrow.

Shit, I spilled some wine. I'm off to watch Kiss the Bride.

Ciao bella